It is February 2nd. It’s not the day after the Super Bowl. It’s not the day Punxsutawney Phil sees his shadow or not. It’s my birthday. I feel like nothing compared to the image of perfection I have manufactured and kept alive in my head. I’m not a mother. I’m not a wife. I’m not even a published physician or writer. For too long, I’ve looked to society to tell me how to live my life and to tell me how I should feel about my perceived failures.
Always trying to escape to a future perfect happiness that remains out of my reach makes it scary and at times painful living in the present. But I realise that the time to live is now. The time to be alive is now. That life isn’t perfect, that I won’t ever have all the answers, and I need not hide behind an excuse of being shy or of making a mistake.
The world is imperfect. I guess it always has been and will always be. I am human though and coming to grips with the vulnerability of being such is tough for a perfectionist as myself. I need to learn not to get all bent out of shape.
Today, I’m breathing and appreciating where I am in life. I’m having a wonderful day.
A lover of mangoes. A woman - smart, without pretense, lefthanded, Afropolitan - navigating this thing called life. An unapologetic believer in social justice and karma. Choosing to radiate positive energy and be true to myself. Here, my musings.
Firstly, happy birthday! Secondly, don't let society dictate your life. Too often we get bogged down by what is expected of us by society. We are indoctrinated since childhood to follow the same pattern in life. Society likes to play the game of "What next?" As students, it is what will you study next. Then what kind of job will you do. Now that you have a job, what about marriage? Then what about children, and so on. This same society will not come to your rescue if something untoward happens to you. The most important thing is are you happy where you are? If not, you have the wherewithal and the time to be where you want to be. Finally, to use the cliché, "Don't worry about what people think of you since they are too busy worrying what you think of them."
Thanks Prashant for your very kind and thoughtful words! KChie